I found a couple of old dream diaries the other day. They are chock full of weird dreams. The three I picked out below are not the weirdest, but they’re pretty odd. I present them entirely unedited, because how could I improve on these gems?
Saturday 5th May 2007 – Dreamt I was Steve McQueen. Was fighting Nazis on a cliff top, the sea below us. At one point I went to the bottom of the cliff and put my feet in the absolutely clear cool sparkling water. Was overwhelmed by longing to have my feet in that water. The Nazis flew over the top of the cliff in formation, dressed in giant penguin suits.
22nd October 2007 – Dreamt I was lying in bed and next to me was a largish black soft kitten. For some reason I thought I had to kill it, and attempted to do so by bashing it on the head with half a house brick. It went all woozy but didn’t die. I didn’t want it to die but I thought maybe now I’d hurt it so much that I’d have to kill it. But I loved the kitten and I felt that the kitten loved me. I held its soft paw in my hand, and prayed that it would live.
Wednesday 26th March 2008 – I’m a child. A man takes me and my brother away. The man is a martial artist. He regularly beats us in martial arts practice. One day he gives us some blue sticks. Mine has feathers on. He comes and tries to hit us with his own blue stick. I manage to capture his stick and get it away from him. He cries. The next day he allows me to start school with the other children and brings me schoolbooks. He’s not my father but we pretend he is. My name is Laura Henderson. My brother is small. He’s the one I am protecting, but we always misunderstand one another.